Dear John (a movie review)

Dear Savannah,

It was because of your lover-wannabe boy that these things had come to a complicated start. I didn't understand why I got your bag from that deep water. I looked like a Muro-ami cast (my Pinoy friend described it to me, though a handsome version). To aggravate things, you lured me with your erotic stories about moon which I had also my version (by the way, my toe is smaller than my thumb and still it covers the moon). Those stories about the fire, our chat in the restaurant, and our straddle slash romantic slash wet scene cost me my balls. Our two-week love story was a blast and it left me hangin' in the air. By the way, I'm sorry with how I reacted with your bitchslappin' diagnose of my Dad. You cost me an ego reconstructive surgery. Anyway, I still love you. That's why I promised to write you all the time. And I did. And we did. I became smitten with writing letters. *sigh* But you became a whore of it. Blame's on you. Hehehe.

By the way, my story about the mule is a little bit exaggerated. I think I got so sentimental I forgot I should not exposed my Dad's neat slash order freakiness. I'm so sorry for the boring sex that we had. It bore the audience as well.

About the letters, you, bitch, didn't write me a letter anymore. And when I received a letter from you, I got so excited. Only to find out that you've been engaged with someone. You broke my artillery. You just didn't know how much I wanted to die that time, that's why I always volunteer for a mission. I don't want to go home. But I still. My Pap died. I attended the funeral. No one but only me. Where were you? I had an obituary about that.

I was exhilarated when I saw you for the first time after 5 years. I thought you replaced me with a horse, only to find out it's Tim. Sonnavebee. I wanted to punch him again. Good, he's sick. Good riddance. Anyway, I still love you. I, still, was baffled why the movie ended that way. My friend here, mjomesa, commented that this movie is boring. I should've done another romantic flick.

Love,

John

P.S. The audience should stick to the book. However tiring, just be patient.

This movie was based on Nicholas Spark's (The Notebook) novel. I did not watch this intentionally. I was just a victim of chance.

Ms. Aleli bought a book because of that boring movie. The Notebook is better.