Saturday, June 29, 2013

how to surivive a zombie apocalypse, at least.

I and a friend watched World War Z at a nearest cinema oblivious to what the movie was all about. We knew it was all about zombies. I was making a mental note that I was watching a zombie movie and a movie like this requires a zombie mind. Flaccid. Passive. All the facets of boredom.

All the facets of boredom sans Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt stars it, so, might as well gamble some of my time. It was a friend's birthday and she was planning to watch a movie all by herself. Mind you, watching alone is excruciatingly boring and lonely with the fact that you laugh all by yourself, be sad by yourself and worst, cry by yourself without any one to turn to for those gripping scenes. It is a total embodiment of boredom. You are boredom personified. So, I presented myself as an escort. 

After few minutes of trying to convince myself to doze off, the movie started to kick my interest. Like a meal skipping the appetizer and the main entree, I was served with the dessert immediately. Explosions. Commotion. A destroyed side mirror. A distressed (yet still cool) Brad Pitt. A worried mother. And the panic continued. It was like watching a movie mid-part. Suddenly the zombies presented themselves. The zombies here were like scavengers lustful for fresh flesh. Imagine a zombie bred with a ninja and that was how the movie was like. You never knew when the zombie jumped off to chomp a neck or an arm. The infection run like the Flash. And in a span of day, it was a pandemic. Humanity smelled near-extinction. The world gripped for life. The movie depicted a zombie outbreak with brilliance. It was not the usual zombie-eat-brain movie, rather it would let you think. "what if". It ate my brain with a question, "What if today is the Zombie Apocalypse? Will I survive?"

Watching the movie, I realized that if Zombie Apocalypse has to arrive, then you have to be ready at all cost. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Here's my survival tips (based on the movie):

1. Wear your most lightweight shoes. The zombies don't give a crap whatever the brand is, as long as you can sprint head to head with them, or shall we say, foot to foot. Train your lungs, also.
2. Stock, at least, a duct tape. They are indispensable instrument to create zombie-mutilating instruments. I was amazed how Brad Pitt used it to attach an arm-shield to his arm  using a  porn magazine and to make a bayonet. If the world were to end, duct tapes will be your messiah.
3. If zombies were to be maniacally sensitive to sound, then don't bring your phone with you. Or any sound-producing materials. Cue Celine Dion music. Aaaarrgghh.
4. Be mentally ready that you could be the next target of any zombie. Be mentally ready to accept that your loved one could be the next. Be mentally ready to fire that gun just in case he berserks in front of you. Be mentally ready to die, too, just in case you berserk first in front of them.
5. Stay in group. There's less probability that you could be the next host/meal/victim.
6. In an event that a zombie bit you or infected you, cut that body part immediately. Being handicapped is way better than being undead. What if the zombie bites you in the ear or head? Hmmm...God bless your soul. 
7. What if you accidentally meet a zombie? Summon a pea shooter? This is not a game. Run. Let your lungs summon all the air it could get. 
8. Bring supplies that could last until this mayhem ends. Water, food, and ammos. And courage.

Well, we had a blast watching the movie. It was a zombie movie after all, but with a dash of brilliance. No dull moments. TTFN!

PS. Happy Birthday Ms Juna...late post.


citybuoy said...

I just know that when the zombies invade, susuko nalang ako. why bother fighting haha

Caitlyn Hope Co said...

Hi sir ! I like how you say things in your blog. I wish I could write like that in my blog:(